Selfish Confessions
by XIV.XV
Summary: Roxas and Axel share a discussion on top of the Clock Tower in Twilight Town, which sparks some interesting discoveries. AkuRoku.


**Selfish Confessions**

By Kris

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Hearts is owned by Square Enix.

**Note**: I don't know where this came from, but here it is. Roxas and Axel have a discussion on the Clock Tower and something surprising comes from it. Enjoy and please comment

* * *

The height never bothered him and neither did the thought of plunging headlong into the cold, hard cement. This was his place, his special world high above that of others. He overlooked the people, as he was perched precariously on the edge and seemingly almost teetering forward, for their lives were the ones that he was interested in. The wind swept through the columns and caressed his face gently, tugging him slightly more towards his death, but he didn't care. If he were to fade, who would be there to mourn him?

Roxas swept a hand through his sandy blonde hair, grumbling slightly as his bed-head style left kinks to be unknotted. His feet dangled over the edge of the Clock Tower, swinging to and fro as if the young boy hadn't a care in the world. The clock struck out noon just above him and he let out a small sigh of impatience.

'Where could he be now?' He wondered to himself as he counted the chimes.

As if called, a dark portal appeared a short distance away from him. A tall young man with striking red hair seemingly materialized out of nowhere and peered off into the horizon for a moment. This didn't faze Roxas, who, instead, waited patiently to be discovered. Eventually the newcomer turned with a smirk to view his younger companion.

"I can't believe you're late again, Axel!" Roxas scuffed, crossing his arms and facing away from the man that he had been waiting for. Again, the wind picked up, pushing the young boy closer to the edge. And, again, the boy ignored the happening.

The older man took his place by Roxas' side, letting out a small frustrated groan as he processed the words that were spoken.

"I got held up," Axel replied simply, his voice smooth and tender. "You know how they are back there."

Roxas shook his head. "That isn't an excuse. You're late. I've been waiting here for hours!"

Although it was an outright lie, it seemed to cut into the man like kunai. "Roxy, I'm sorry! And, here, I've even come with a peace offering."

He extended his arm in front of the boy and dangled an ice-cream bar in front of his face. Roxas' eyes lit up as he beheld the object, quickly snatching it away from his friend's hand. He immediately took a bite out of it and smiled with pleasure as the salty-sweet taste awakened his taste buds with a bang. Axel chuckled at the delighted expression that Roxas gave off, outright laughing when the younger boy glared at him for interrupting his short time in his dessert-induced heaven.

"Just because you think you can make it all better with Sea Salt Ice-Cream doesn't mean that it works," Roxas muttered, now licking the bar and peering out over Twilight Town.

Axel shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

The two grew quiet, their gazes over the small, but bustling town. With noon as the time, wonderful aroma of the various cuisines being cooked and handled by the people wafted through the air. Roxas closed his eyes for a moment as he concentrated on all the sounds and smells that the town gave off. It made him feel at peace with himself, almost as if he had a home of his own to return to and enjoy. But, alas, the poor boy couldn't even remember his life as a somebody, let alone fathom any idea of what his home was like. The thought bit into his nonexistent heart and forced him to open his eyes before a wave of depression washed him over similar to a tidal wave.

"Why so silent today, Roxas?" Axel asked. Roxas was grateful for the distraction of his friend's voice, but also saddened at the thought of his answer. Thus, he remained silent.

Slightly annoyed, Axel leaned over and gave a curt tug on one of the mussed up locks of hair that Roxas refused to brush. The younger boy swatted away his efforts then took another bite out of his Sea Salt Ice-Cream in an attempt to evade the question. But it failed, as it had always done in the past. When Axel wanted information, all he had to do was turn up the spark behind his dazzling emerald eyes and repeat the previously stated question with a slight purr to his already alluring voice. The man was as hypnotic as the element that he expertly wielded in battle, which was, and very fittingly one might add, fire.

"Roxas," the charm was evident. Axel snaked his arm around his companion's waist and drew him ever so slightly nearer to him. "Why are we so quiet?"

Roxas mumbled something incoherently under his breath before he gave in with a sigh. With an elegant eyebrow arched in amusement, the pyro listened.

"I have been having those dreams again," it was whispered.

"Come again?"

"Those dreams, you know. . . The ones with Sora? I've been having them again."

Silence again draped its unwanted and heavy body over the two again. Roxas awaited Axel's response, but it didn't much matter anyway. For some reason, Axel really didn't like to hear that his little blonde haired friend was having some midnight fantasies (as the red-head would call them) with a brunette kid. But there was something that the young man was hiding, of that Roxas was sure, and that no matter how much the boy asked, the man never admitted to thinking any differently than the one-track gutter scenario.

". . . So they've come again," Axel murmured into the quiet air.

It was a little redundant, but Roxas nodded. "Only they are clearer now."

This seemed to startle Axel, as his expression changed from contemplation to shock. What was it about the dreams that got to him so terribly?

"What do you mean by clearer?"

"The images. They aren't as blurry as they were before," Roxas eyed Axel, wondering if his simple statement would have any affect on him at all. And he wasn't disappointed.

Although the words seemed to visibly calm the man, even a bystander would have been able to identify the turmoil that it put him through. However Axel reacted, Roxas still yearned to know why. What secret was his friend withholding from him and exactly why was he doing so?

"Sora," the name rolled off the fire-starter's tongue smoothly, but with venom coating its syllables. "You should forget about him."

"Why?" Roxas questioned. "Why does it even matter? He's just a dream!"

"Yes," Axel repeated, nodding slowly. "Just a dream."

"Axel," the younger boy sighed slightly, peering over the town at the horizon. "I don't see why you get so . . . aggressive when I tell you my dreams."

"I don't get aggressive!" the red-head complained. A glare from Roxas told him otherwise. "I'm just worried about you, okay?"

"Getting worried over a dream. . . Hmm. I think that's an obsession issue on your part."

"Hey, you're cute. What person wouldn't want to have you as their obsession?"

"Normal people."

"We're not exactly normal, Rox."

"So I've come to realize," Roxas muttered. He let himself fall backwards with his hands tucked under his head and gazed up at the sky. "Being a Nobody is depressing."

Axel chuckled, but the tone was that of sadness. "Yeah, you've got that right."

Roxas glanced over at his friend, who sat hunched over with his hands folded in his lap. Sitting up once again, he smirked.

"Because we are Nobodies we can't love, right?"

"Theoretically, yes."

"Then these feelings that I have been having aren't real then?"

"Technically they are memories, but what types of emotions are you experiencing?" Roxas could tell that he intrigued Axel, as the pyro leaned forward and awaited the response almost impatiently.

The smirk tugged itself into an even bigger one. "Well, you see, I sometimes think about . . ."

"About what?" he was leaning in closer, his emerald eyes dancing with something that Roxas could not interpret.

"Us."

It was a simple response and one that Axel was apparently not expecting, for his hand slipped and began to teeter dangerously on the edge. Roxas reached out and pulled him back, chuckling at the shocked expression that played out adorably on Axel's striking face. He clang to him, but not out of the fear of another close encounter with death. It was for the warmth that Axel radiated and the comfort that Roxas received from it. His face was buried into the older man's chest. A fast paced beating reached his ears.

"Mmm, warm," Roxas muttered.

Axel blinked, finding himself at a loss for words. "Roxas?"

"Yes?"

"What about this 'us' that you spoke of?"

Roxas peered up at Axel, a small smile on. "You know what I mean."

Axel scratched his head in thought. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Man. To think that I thought you were smart at one point in time."

"Uh!" Axel sputtered. "Just tell me!"

"No," Roxas relinquished his hold on Axel and crossed his arms.

"Why not?" It was a playful whine with a slight purr etched into it. Roxas had a feeling that Axel was dangerously close to pulling out his allure and seducing the answer out of him. There was something about his deep emerald eyes that made them appear to dance to his mood and draw others into their fiery depths. And, just as he suspected, Axel leaned forward and, lips close to Roxas' ear, muttered: "C'mon, Rox, you can tell me."

"That's not going to work," the younger boy hissed, but the close proximity that was shared made his heart beat faster and is palms begin to sweat. He was nervous and excited, almost as if adrenaline washed over his body in a tidal wave.

"Oh?" Axel didn't sound very convinced.

Roxas silently gulped, but kept his wits about him. Axel sat straightened himself out with a shrug.

"I guess it's your choice."

"Huh?"

"If you don't want to tell me, then you don't have to."

"R-really?" Roxas' mouth was slightly agape as he stared at his friend in astonishment. This wasn't normal for Axel who, under normal circumstances, would pester the hell out of him until Roxas had to give in just to stop the looming headache. "But-"

"I guess you're allowed to keep secrets from your best friend. I mean, it's normal right? Just a rouse, friendship is anyway. We don't have hearts and therefore it's only a pathetic masquerade of emotions held because we, ourselves, are inadequate."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Where did _that_ come from?"

Axel shrugged. "Desperation?"

"Ah, in that case . . ." Roxas took a deep breath. "I'm still not going to tell you."

"Is it that important anyway?"

"It's been on my mind for awhile now," Roxas mumbled. "And it really makes me wonder, you know?"

"Not really, considering you have told me nothing."

"Right. I gave you a major hint!"

"What was that again?"

"Screw off, Axel," the blonde huffed and averted his gaze to the side Axel was not occupying. He couldn't remain angry for long, however, for he felt warm arms snake around him and pull him close.

"Roxy," he nuzzled the boy's face. "Don't ever leave me . . ."

"Huh?"

"I know that you want to know the meaning behind your dreams and I know that it's selfish of me to ask this of you, but . . . Please don't pursue it."

"Why not?"

Axel was silent for a moment. Roxas could feel the steady rhythm of the older man's breathing against his back. It was hypnotic and soothing, lulling the boy into a sense of security familiar to him only when he was near Axel. The warmth, the friendship, the possible love . . . All weaved itself into a feeling that was entirely new and out of place for him.

"Because it means that you might leave me for good and I don't know . . . I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Axel," Roxas sighed. "You're asking me to stay here when Sora might have some importance in discovering who I am?"

"I know," Axel's face fell. "It's selfish."

"Yes, it is."

Everything seemingly fell silent as Roxas' words hung heavy in the air. He didn't want to admit it to Axel, but he knew that that day was fast approaching: the day when he would have to leave his friend behind to seek out the truth and, possibly, his heart. But something was holding him back, stopping him from just up and leaving one day, any day, without informing Axel.

And he knew what that 'something' was.

"I'm sorry, but I can't promise that I'll stay. I won't lie; I want to find my heart. I know that it's out there somewhere, I just have to look."

Axel solemnly nodded, still quiet. He was listening, but it was evident that he didn't want to hear any of it. He withdrew his arms and returned to resting his hands in his lap. Roxas grimaced as this gesture, fathoming how badly his words pierced Axel. After all, Axel had claimed that Roxas was his only friend and the only one worth knowing.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," Axel muttered. He looked crushed and filled with unwanted desperation to keep the only person that he ever wanted to be around right next to him. Roxas sighed.

"Do you still wish to know?"

"Pardon?"

"What I was going to say earlier?"

Axel shrugged, already defeated. "It's up to you, Roxas. Not me."

"Alright then," Roxas smiled, trying to lighten up the dreary mood. "I'll tell you."

"If you want to."

"Axel, I've been thinking a lot about everything, including this heart business with the Nobodies and all, and I've come to the conclusion that none of it makes any sense to me whatsoever."

Axel chuckled slightly at that, causing Roxas to chuckle likewise.

"Why doesn't it make since?"

"Well," Roxas paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Well, it doesn't make sense because of what I feel."

"And what's that?"

". . . Love, I think."

Axel blinked. "Love?"

Roxas nodded, blushing slightly. "Yes, love."

"For who?" Axel was leaning towards Roxas again, forgetting all about what was previously discussed.

"Uh," the blonde haired boy groaned slightly. He shifted nervously where he sat, his heart running marathons in his chest. Was he really ready to reveal that?

"Oh, c'mon! You promised that you would tell!"

"I never promised that!" Roxas squeaked, beginning to regret the situation that he had placed himself in.

Axel audibly growled and pounced Roxas without warning or hesitation. The two began to grapple on the amount of surface space permitted to them by the Clock Tower, which, in reality, wasn't that much. It ended once Axel was on top of the boy, pinning his arms above his head and glaring seductively down at him. All of the red-head's charm, as it were, stemmed from the allure of fire. Roxas cursed it at that moment.

"Tell me."

Roxas gulped. "You."

He had whispered it. Axel perked a brow.

"What was that?"

"I said 'you,'" and he waited.

It took several moments for the words to efficiently sink into Axel's deluded mind, as he just stared down a Roxas. After a while, however, he came to his senses.

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course."

Axel grinned from ear to ear, more than happy with Roxas' secret, which the younger boy knew he would be. Roxas reached up and tugged on a strand of his friend's vibrant red hair, pulling him down to his level and pressing his lips against Axel's, who blinked in surprise at the sudden action. The man let go of the arms that he held and slid them down, entwining his fingers in his lover's hair. Arms snaked around his neck in response, pulling him closer and clinging to the warmth.

The Clock Tower overhead chimed once, telling them that only an hour had passed, but the two didn't notice. They were wrapped up in the other, off in a world where nothing existed save only them.

Axel eventually sat up, peering up at the looming clock and determining the time. With a sigh, he turned back to Roxas, giving him a smirk.

"I have to go."

"Why?" Roxas was flushed and slightly breathless, hoisting himself up and resting on his elbows. "Do you really have to?"

Axel nodded, leaning forward and resting his forehead against the boy's. "I'm afraid I do."

"Aww," the boy sighed.

"Don't worry," the pyro nuzzled him. "I always come back to you."

They exchanged smiles and one last kiss before Axel disappeared back into a dark portal. Roxas sat up, a smile gracing his lips as he gently tapped them.

He could wait for his heart a little longer. After all, his home was where ever Axel happened to be.


End file.
